It all started when…

I was introduced to homosexuality around the age of 5. As I got older, my attraction for women grew stronger as I acted upon these feelings privately. During my adolescent years, I spent most of my time alone battling depression, suicidal thoughts, cutting, homosexuality and drinking, just to name a few. Although I grew up in church, I struggled with my identity.

As I got older, I began having same-sex relationships, eventually “coming out” as a lesbian at the end of high school. I decided then that I was tired of God convicting me of something I couldn’t change and that I wanted nothing to do with Him.

While in college, I was on the leadership board for an on-campus organization. This organization promoted the acceptance of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender community. During my college years, I wrote a 25-page term paper titled “Homosexuality and the Bible,” which attempted to justify the notion that the Bible and God accept homosexuality. I also tried attending a homosexual Christian church, but an unsettling feeling kept me from joining their congregation.

After a series of bad events, I decided that I couldn’t live without Jesus in my life. I found a church in my local area and began developing a personal relationship with Christ. It was then that I gave my life to Christ. I decided to stop being fed the opinions of the Bible and Jesus from others and get to know Christ for myself.

I began to feel a tug on the inside that I had felt so many years ago but had ignored previously, rejecting God. Over time, the tug got so overwhelming that one day I was face to face with God, broken. I finally surrendered.

A few days prior, I read the story of Gideon and the fleece which, at this moment, popped into my head. I thought that if God could answer Gideon in such a direct manner, he could answer me the same way. I told God, “If you’re telling me that being with women, that being homosexual, is wrong, then fine. I’m ready to listen. But first, do these three things so that I know that it is you who is speaking to me.” The next day, God did all three things that I asked Him to do as confirmation. It was at that moment that I had peace that surpassed all my understanding.